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एक चैनल का प्राइम टाइम

December 13, 2017

दृश्य : किसी भी मुद्दे पर..किसी भी चैनल का प्राइम टाइम..

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एंकर : हाँ तो ऐसा है..अलाय बलाय..ढिंका चिका…एक दो तीन….अंगूरी बदन…घूंघट में चंदा है..तुनक तुनक तुन तानाना…रा रा री री री रा रा..हाँ तो बीजेपी जवाब दे मोदी इस्तीफ़ा दें? तो बताइये एक्सपर्ट जी आज के प्राइम टाइम में इस फिजूल मुद्दे पे आपकी एक्सपर्ट राय क्या है?

एक्सपर्ट जी : तीन से याद आया एंकर जी कि कल रात तीन परांठे खाए थे…जब जवान था पांच खा लेता था..अब २ परांठे मेरी थाली से कम होके किसकी थाली में गए..पता ही नहीं चला..और बात परांठे तक रहती तो कोई बात नहीं थी..जितने में पहले हाफ मुर्गा करी आ जाती थी अब उतने में एग करी नहीं आती..तो परांठे के साथ साथ आधी मुर्गी कहाँ गयी…तो बड़ा सवाल ये है कि इतने बड़े घपले के बाद भी मोदी चुप क्यों हैं..उन्हें इस्तीफ़ा दे ही देना चाहिए.

एंकर : एक्सपर्ट जी आपकी हर मुद्दे की तरह इस मुद्दे पर एक दम बारीक पकड़ है..किस तरह आपने इस मुद्दे को हाशिये पे पड़े आम आदमी से जोड़ दिया है..अब चूँकि मुद्दा एक व्यापक सामाजिक दायरे से जुड़ा हुआ है तो इस मुद्दे पे क्यों न विपक्ष एक जुट होके मोदी के इस्तीफे की मांग करे…आइये चलते हैं आम पार्टी के प्रवक्ता के पास..उनसे जानते हैं कि बीजेपी को क्या करना चाहिए और इस मुद्दे पर उनका क्या नजरिया है?

आम प्रवक्ता : जी एंकर जी..जैसा आप जानते हैं…क्रांति…आम आदमी…महा क्रांति…धरना..जीत गए..67 सीटें..क्रांति..एक दो तीन..२ परांठे..आधी मुर्गी…क्रांति…धरना..मोदी जी इस्तीफ़ा दें.. बाई द वे मैं कैसी लग रही हूँ?

एंकर : बहुत बढ़िया…क्या करारा जवाब दिया है आपने..शक्तिशाली सुन्दर विपक्ष ही लोकतंत्र की खूबसूरती है..माशा अल्लाह आप भी खूबसूरत लग रही हैं…लेकिन असल मुद्दा ये है कि क्या मोदी को विपक्ष खूबसूरत लगता है…या हम फासीवाद की तरफ बढ़ते जा रहे हैं…क्या ऐसे में उन्हें इस्तीफ़ा नहीं दे देना चाहिए…आइये कांग्रेस प्रवक्ता से पूछते हैं..उनका क्या कहना है?

कांग्रेस प्रवक्ता : रा रा री री रारा…हमारे बाबा..बाबा की मम्मी…बाबा के जीजा..बाबा की जीजी..हम जीतेंगे..और हाँ मोदी इस्तीफ़ा दें.

एंकर : बहुत ही संतुलित क्रिप्स शब्दों में आप ने अपनी राय रखी है..अब शो में सिर्फ २ मिनट का समय बाकी है…आइये चलते हैं बीजेपी प्रवक्ता के पास और उनसे पूछते हैं..कि क्या विपक्षी पार्टियों के अलावा हमारे उठाये गए सवालों के जवाब उनके पास हैं…और क्या मोदी को इस्तीफ़ा नहीं दे देना चाहिए?

बीजेपी प्रवक्ता : जी मैं आप का शुक्रगुजार हूँ…जो आपने मुझे आधे घंटे के शो में २ मिनट का बहुमूल्य समय दिया..कृपया करके बीच में टोका टाकी न करें..हाँ तो हमारा जवाब है संविधान के अनुसार….

इतने में एंकर बीच में टपकते हुए..

आप बीच में संविधान को लेके मत आइये..

बीजेपी प्रवक्ता : लेकिन कोर्ट ने भी..

आप प्रवक्ता : कोर्ट तो आपका गुलाम ही है..क्रांति..

बीजेपी : लेकिन इन्वेस्टीगेशन तो अभी चल रहा है..

कांग्रेस: रारा रीरी रारा..

एंकर : आज का प्रोग्राम समाप्त..तो दर्शको आपने देखा..कैसे बीजेपी के पास किसी सवाल का जवाब ही नहीं है…और विपक्ष की एकजुटता साबित करती है कि बीजेपी बैक फुट पर है..इस मुद्दे पर मोदी जी को खुद संसद में बयां देना चाहिए..और नैतिकता के आधार पर इस्तीफे की पेशकश करनी चाहिए..कल सुबह फिर मिलेंगे..तब तक कही मत जाइए..और हाँ इंटरनेट पे कुछ भी मत पढ़िए 😉

Writer : @AjiHaaan

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