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रवीश कुमार जी की चिट्ठी

July 8, 2016

रवीश कुमार जी की चिट्ठी

रवीश कुमार जी की कल की लिखी चिट्ठी पर आज तक गालियां आ रही हैं. चिट्ठी क्या थी बीस पन्ने की पॉकेट बुक थी, एम जे अकबर के अलावा सबने पढ़ ली. देश के बाप लोग बहुत खुश हैं, बहुत दिन बाद लड़कों ने इतनी पढ़ाई की. ट्विटर पर 140 अक्षर की लिमिट है. बच्चों की आदत ही नहीं रह गई थी इसके आगे पढ़ने की. ऊपर से स्मृति ईरानी के जाने के बाद भाजपा खेमे के बाप लोग मान बैठे थे कि बच्चा अब पढ़ाई कर नहीं पाएगा.
वैसे रवीश जी ने कल दो चिट्ठी लिखी थींं एक एम जे अकबर को, एक कमाल रशीद खान उर्फ केआरके को. अकबर साहब वाली चिट्ठी उन्होंने अपने ब्लॉग पर डाल दी थी, ताकि ब्लॉग पर आने वाले विज्ञापनों से वो कुछ अतिरिक्त आय कर सकें. केआरके वाली चिट्ठी व्यवसायिक उद्देश्य से नहीं लिखी गई थी, दो हमपेशा, हमख्याल, हमफितरत लोगों के बीच दिली मुहब्बत का संवाद था.
केआरके वाली वो डाल नहीं पाए, क्योंकि केआरके ट्विटर छोड़कर बाथरूम तक नहीं जाता और ब्लॉग के अलावा रवीश जी को हर जगह संघी लौंडो का डर महसूस होता है.
खैर अब इतने बड़े आदमी ने कुछ लिखा है तो उसका पढ़ा जाना भी जरूरी था, तो चिट्ठी लीक करा दी गई. होते हैं हर बड़े आदमी के पास दो चार इस तरह के लोग जो यह सब काम करते हैं.

चिट्ठी इस प्रकार है

कमाल रशीद के नाम रवीश कुमार का पत्र

आदरणीय कमाल रशीद जी

प्रणाम,

ईद मुबारक, आज दो दो ईद हैं. एक तो सब जानते ही हैं और दूसरा आज सलमान भाई की सुल्तान रिलीज हुई है वो भी ईद से कम नहीं है। क्योंकि ये वो मौका होता है जब आप जैसे दो कौड़ी के आदमी को भी चार लोग लिंक खोलकर पढ़ लेते हैं. एक मुबारक बाद की चिट्ठी मैं सलमान भाई को भी लिखना चाहता था, मगर भाई के भक्तों का आईक्यू बहुत कम और गाली क्यू बहुत ज्यादा है। पता नहीं क्या समझ जाएं. ऊपर से ये मोदी भक्तों के तरह केवल गाली देकर संतुष्ट नहीं होते, इन सब सालों को गाड़ी फुटपाथ पर चलाने की आदत है.

कमाल जी मैं आपको देखकर बहुत खुश होता हूँ कि आप धोबी से घरेलू नौकर बने, फिर फिल्म अभिनेता बने और आज मेरी तरह जबरदस्ती के आलोचक बन गए हैं. हो सकता है कि कभी आगे जाकर आप समाजवादी पार्टी से राज्यसभा सांसद भी हो जाएं. मैं भी पहले पत्रकार था, फिर टीवी एक्टिविस्ट हुआ, अब हास्य कलाकार हूँ, और साबित करने पर लगा हूँ कि लोग मुझे दलाल कहते हैं. हो सकता है कि मैं भी कभी नितीश कुमार प्रधानमंत्री का मीडिया सलाहकार हो जाऊं.

कमाल जी मैं आपको तब से फॉलो कर रहा हूँ जब आप इससे भी बड़े जोकर दिखा करते थे और जुगाड़ लगा कर फिल्मी पार्टियों में घुसा करते थे. मैं उस समय पत्रकार बन चुका था मेरे पास पार्टी का बाकायदा इन्विटेशन होता था और मैंने कई बार आपकी धुलाई देखी है. कमाल भाई आपका कैरियर ग्राफ देखकर मुझे बहुत जलन होती है, आप कहाँ पहुँच गए और मैं कहाँ रह गया. आप आज ट्विटर पर बड़ी बड़ी हीरोइनों से आमने सामने गाली खाते हैं, और मैं अभी भी गोरखपुर, बलिया और बरेली के अधेड़, प्रौढ़ और अर्ध प्रौढ़ ठलुओं में उलझा हुआ हूँ.
कमाल जी मैं आपसे एक सवाल का जवाब चाहता हूँ,असल में एक मदद चाहता हूँ कि आप मुझे बताएं कि एक ट्वीट करने पर सत्ताईस हजार गालियां कैसे खाई जा सकती हैं. मैं ने पहले शोर मचाया था कि लोग मुझे दलाल कहते हैं, उससे मेरा सोशल मीडिया कोशंट कुछ ऊंचा हुआ, मगर जिस तरह का आपका क्रेज़ है, मैं उसके आसपास भी नहीं पहुँच पा रहा हूँ. फिर मैंने एक बीस साल का सोशल मीडिया मैनेजर हायर किया, उसने बताया कि किसी तरह से फैमिली को इन्वॉल्व कर दे कोई तो बहुत रिएक्शन आता है. तो दो दिन से मैं अपनी माँ के नाम के साथ वेश्या जोड़ने की कोशिश कर रहा हूँ, इससे भी घटिया शब्द इस्तेमाल कर रहा हूँ, रिएक्शन तो आ नहीं रहा, बता रहे हैं कि लोगों ने स्क्रीन पर थूक थूक कर अपने मोबाइल और खराब कर लिए हैं.
बस कमाल जी मुझे वो तरकीब बता दें एक बार कि मैं गला भी खखार दूँ तो लोग गाली देने को टूट पड़ें, मैं केआरके बनना चाहता हूँ, मोदी विरोधी खेमे की प्रियंका चोपड़ा हो जाना चाहता हूँ. उम्मीद है कि आप अपने हमपेशा, हमख्याल भाई की मदद करेंगे.

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रवीश

 

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